or how I fear I have brought into the world the Spawn of Satan.
Ok that may sound a bit over dramatic, and my lovely Mam-in-Law is very likely to frown upon the following (Hello Mary by the way 🙂 ) but this is the honest truth.
Oscar, my lovely child, my Moon and Stars, has entered the Terrible Twos earlier than I had hoped. Actually, I was banking on him skipping those Terrible twos. Instead, he’s started early on the terrible twos, and raised the ante by getting ahead start on being a Threenager.
What happened you may wonder? – and by the way, we wonder it too! Because we haven’t changed our parenting style.
What happened is that our little Genius has been moved “up a level” in Nursery a few months early (like 2 months early) because he was ready to face new challenges. 2 months does not seem like much, but at his scale, it is. A LOT changes in 2 months. And while I was a tad cautious about him moving on up, he really did take to it like duck to water. The problem is that he’s now mingling with older kids, aged from 2 to 3 years old. So he’s copying older children’s behaviours. Granted, this move up is helping with the potty training, the eating, the “independence”/ “Oscar DO”, but boy has it turned him into a little ass.
Here is what he does:
- If you tell him off he ignores you and/or changes the subject by pointing at things and talking about them or singing a song and doing a little dance – I kid you not.
- If he is called on being naughty he shrugs it off and ignores you
- If he’s asked to do something, which he does not want to do, he blanks you and do whatever he wanted to do.
- If he wants you to do something (half of the time it requires jumping from walls) but you won’t comply, he’ll try his luck with the next grown up available.
- He will charm you in a way that make you forget what he did that was naughty
- He will go ape-sh!t crazy in shops because he wants to eat whatever you are buying NOW – bread, grapes, apple, cheese…
- He wants to travel with public transport ALL the time, he loves being in a bus, unless you’re stuck in traffic, in which case he will let it be known that he wants to get out.
- Playgrounds are HIS to play with. He will decide who may and may not join him in it. Doesn’t matter that he’s a foot shorter than the bigger kids. He will not back down.
- if he’s not happy about something, he will throw things around. Toys, books, remotes… He has quite the flash temper, fortunately, he usually calms down and “sort of apologies” with slobbery kisses and cuddles. But still.
this is a non-exhaustive list by the way.
Truth is, I am being harsh. He’s not always ‘that bad’. He’s still a very cuddly and sweet boy. But while he used to be a pretty cool kid to be around all the time, he’s now going throw this phase, and it’s really taken us by surprise. I mean, he’s always been willful and the kind of kid that knows what he wants and wants it either now or yesterday, but he was never behaving like such a donkey.
So what do we do? well, we try to reason with him, well, as much as one can with a child that is still so very little. We give him choices (option A and option B), so he feels that he’s in charge and decides what he wears / eats. We do step in when we see that he’s being an ass towards other children in the playground, we remind him about the gentle hands, that sharing is caring etc. And when he’s really acting the goat, there’s the naughty boy step. Which works, in the sense that he sits there for a couple of minutes, then he says he’s “sowwy” gives a cuddle and a kiss, but does he really understand the purpose of this sitting on a step malarkey? I’m doubtful. But we keep doing this. Because we need to be consistent.
What is hard with this is to not laugh when he starts doing a dance or tell you that he’s HAPPY even though he’s covered in jam or other paints, because trust me, he is a born entertainer, he’s a clown. And it’s hard not to laugh.
And what is also hard is not to lose one’s temper, and this is extra tough when you didn’t sleep much because he woke you up a gazillion times, because you had a long day in the office, because you’re tired and really can’t deal with all the screaming coming out of his little mouth because you cut the gapes in bits rather than letting him help himself directly from the bunch…
Fortunately, we’re a team my husband and I. When either of us feel like they’re about to snap, we get the other to take over. And if we know the other has already said “no”, we also say “no”, so Oz can’t use either of us to get his own ways.
Having a child is not always rainbows and unicorn. Raising our kid right is at the forefront of our mind, along with surrounding him with love and making sure he will never want for anything. Making him a good person, kind, enabling him to achieve whatever he’s got his mind and heart set on too (as long as it’s not world domination and other crazy things like that). It’s tough. We do the best we can, we think about how we were raised, what we believed worked for us, add what we think would be better…
We’re not perfect, our kid isn’t perfect (even though we sort of think that he is), and that’s ok. In any case, all the parenting websites agree, that this is just a phase and all things will pass.
It’s just a phase. I really hope that it’ll be short. like a couple more months. Can’t blame me for hoping for the best, right? In any case, if you have any suggestions, tips anything you can think of that works / worked with your little one(s), we’d welcome them with an open mind!